By: MUHAMMAD OWAIS SHABBIR
Karachi: In the wake of the recent murder in Britain of a 17-year-old girl by her parents in the name of honour, an inside war of mind and heart of many parents who are victims of cross-cultural moral values, has been revealed. The feelings that triggered this inhuman act of theirs are not much different from many of the parents living abroad. However, the question remains what are the reasons that evoke these feelings.
We are having a hard time marking a boundary between the do’s and don’ts of our cultural values. This marking of boundary becomes even tougher in a country where cultural values contradict ours. We tend to follow the same strict definition of our cultural values as of our native country, which, I think, is the first step towards a wrong direction. Their children find it hard to adopt such strict cultural values, leading them to rebellion. Many friends of mine complain about their parents enjoying life when they were young and then when it was the children’s turn, their parents become so narrow-minded that they do not even allow them to meet their friends. My father told me once that when the Indian movie, Mughal-e-Azam first hit Pakistani cinemas; he went nearly 1,000 km to watch this movie. But then, he does not give me permission to watch a movie with my friends and that is not fair.
We are so obsessed with the thought of what our relatives and friends would think about us that we forget what is good and what is not for our family and ourselves. We just worry about pleasing others and sacrifice our pleasure and peace over theirs. We spend most of our life fearing what others would think about us. Parents should try to let their children learn their own lessons. Parents who have migrated from their native country should try to understand that it was easier for them to adhere to the cultural values of their native country as compared to their child whose identity is this current place with a completely new set of cultural values.